#Summer calculus jokes how to#

Why did the tangent line refuse to talk to the curve? It thought they had no common “slope.”.Did you hear about the calculus teacher who got into a fight? It was a real “derivative.”.I guess I’ll just take it as a compliment. My calculus professor told me that I’m average.Why do calculus majors make terrible chefs? Because they always try to find the “absolute minima” in every recipe.I told my calculus teacher a joke about limits, but it never approached her funny bone.Why did the calculus book look so sad? Because it had too many problems.One-Liners Jokes About Calculus for Instagram One-Liners Jokes About Calculus for Instagram.

Thanks- I’ll never part with it! More Humorous, Punny Jokesīelow are more funny short jokes to share with loved ones and make them smile. What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.įor days he kept leaving little messages around the house. What do you call a fake noodle?Īn impasta. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?īecause he was always spotted. 60. What do you get from a pampered cow?Ħ1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?īecause they make up everything. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?” 59. Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. 56. What do you call a pony with a cough?Ī little horse. Why do bees have sticky hair?īecause they use honeycombs. Why are ghosts such bad liars?īecause they are easy to see through. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?īecause Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Why did the teddy bear skip out on dessert when she was on a date? What is a little bear with no teeth is called?Ī gummy bear. Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?īecause you should never drink and derive.ĥ1. There’s no menu: You get what you deserve 50. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?Ī chicken sees a salad. Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? What did the left eye say to the right eye?īetween you and me, something smells. Why did the chicken cross the playground? I couldn’t believe that the highway department called my dad a thief.īut when I got home, all the signs were there. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? 34. What did one traffic light say to the other? Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?īecause the “P” is silent! 32. I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday.ģ1. What’s red and moves up and down?Ī tomato in an elevator 30. I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? They’re both red except for the green one. What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple? “Bloody hell – That’s a bit expensive isn’t it?”

The lawyer responds: “I charge £1,000 to answer three questions.” A guy goes into a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?” I need water.” The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk.”Ģ1. A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.īut hay, it’s in my jeans. Why doesn’t the sun go to college?īecause it has a million degrees! 19.

#Summer calculus jokes how to#

One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!” 18. What’s a foot long and slippery?Ī slipper. What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?Ī chew-chew train. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.” A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.” 11. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?” What do you call bears with no ears?īecause it saw the salad dressing. A bear walks into a restaurant and says, “I want a grilled… cheese.” The waiter says “Why the big pause?”

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?Ī receding hare-line. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?īecause they’re really good at it. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? That way, you can use them any time and any place! Short Jokes That Are Genuinely Funny: 1. Here are some short jokes that are easy to remember. Funny jokes are great for breaking the ice with new people or cheering up friends when they’re in a bad mood.